Struggles give you Strength

Life has so many obstacles awaiting for me in this world...i feel myself sitting in silence sometimes just to come to realization my world has conquered so much in the last 19 years...my greatest outcome is learning that there is no easy way out but that doesn't mean my strength will give out. I've been through the worse and the best, I've seen my world change, I've let go of those who have left , I've put down my fears and weaknesses, I've walked my way through regret, I've ran from hurt and pain, i allowed others in and let some go, I've done everything i could to make the world see me in a depth of light. I'am only human and i stand as one , one on my own. "I've heard a voice that told me I'm essential. how all my fears are limiting my potential. said its time to step into the light and use every bit of power i have inside! " With this quote i see an outcome of better and a chance to Live to the fullest to live like its my last ...through the years I've suffered with this mystery invisible disease it has saved me in every way possible. Lupus doesn't define me i define it , on every decision , or action i make on a day by day basis it affects me. i must think the right before the wrong one wrong decision could determine my entire life. I've always been that girl to think of everyone before herself...im still like that! i hide a lot of my feelings and i do that because thats all i know..  to laugh when I'm sad,mad,scared, every emotion of mine doesn't seem real to others. I've felt the need to stay strong and by doing so not showing how i truly feel or pushing it away and letting it go always seemed like the easy way out..ive done that all my life, but now i must learn to show it all good or bad in my heart i know I'm not alone but in my head i am .....every one always sees me with a smile and joy of laughter but sometimes i wish they saw my deepest emotions ..lupus affected me more than anyone could ever imagine , it gave a whole new look on life, it opened my eyes on judgement , i live off medications but who would ever know, i feel pain everyday but who would ever know, I'm tired by doing so little but again who would ever know.. no one does because its all in the inside...and your seen by the outside. i fight an ugly war inside my body every single day i may not win this battle but I'm not going down without a fair fight. I'm a WARRIOR! My Fight isn't over not for a while...i Promise. 


                                                                                                Your Lupus WARRIOR, 
                                                                                                       Annastasia 

i Wanted to read this to you so you know how hard this is and how I'm not afraid anymore ...